so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
