it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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