i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
