connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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