I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
