Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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