didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize