People with herpes should wear stickers.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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