There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
