I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
