maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
