there's paper in my vomit.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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