She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
