its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
