You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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