Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im six kinds of drunk right now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
