don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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