I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
