i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize