I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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