do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Couch. On fire.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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