i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
