i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
