shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
