Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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