i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
