Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
