sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
this is an emotional support booty call
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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