Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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