just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
