Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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