Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
