oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
