Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
