I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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