mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
