Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
