My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
