True but thats because hes a fetus.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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