Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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