I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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