White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i out mim tonsoeep
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