Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
did i just pee glitter
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
