Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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