do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
