RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
