okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
