But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your penis caused this!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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