What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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