u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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