Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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