Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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