I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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