you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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