i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
