What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
