Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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