I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
