We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
