sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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