weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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