Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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