Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
