Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
